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By Barry Buzza
Over the past thirty-five years that I’ve been a pastor, I’ve counseled hundreds of couples who’ve wanted to be married. In the six or so hours that I spend with each couple, I ask them a whole bunch of questions; then I watch their expressions, hear their tone of voice and words as they answer. Among the dozens of questions that we discuss, I spend a good length of time on the relationship the man and woman have with their parents. I’ve learned, over the years, that we are largely a product of our upbringing; both what we’ve been taught, and also what we’ve caught inadvertently.
One thing I always ask each of them is, “What are your parents’ goals for your life? What do they want you to be and do?”
I’ve been surprised over and over by the consistency of their responses. Almost without exception, both men and women answer my question something like this: “They just want me to be happy.” When it comes to choosing a spouse, career or home, their answers are basically the same. “They just want me to be happy.” Good answer.
Whether we’ve been raised by dysfunctional or healthy parents, a single mom or dad, in a series of foster homes, or by two moms, we all have one thing in common. Every person alive has a Father in heaven who loves them more than we can imagine. Whether we believe he exists or not; whether we loathe him or love him; whether we walk away from him or worship him, God is not only our Creator, he is also our heavenly Father.
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My simple deduction is this: if our earthly parents, even in their weakness and failure, love us and want us to be happy, then it would make perfect sense that Father God, who by his own definition is love, also loves us and wants us to be happy. And that’s the foundational premise of the book I’ve just had published. If we get this, we’ll be more likely to get the rest. Only as we begin to fathom how much God loves us and wants the best for us, will we be able to understand the secret of happiness that I will reveal in a future article.
Meanwhile, spend a bit of time considering for yourself how you view the secret to your own happiness. Do you think along the lines:
"If I have just a little bit more money (usually about ten percent) I’d be happy.”
"If I could find a loving spouse…"
"If my children would grow up to be healthy and happy…."
"If I had another job…"
"If I were simply healthy…"
"If I could take a good vacation; have a bigger home; get that convertible Mustang; on and on the list could go. What is it with you? What about if you didn’t get more money, had an unhappy spouse, had ongoing physical maladies, would it be possible to be happy?
I believe so. Over the next couple of weeks I’ll explain how to be happy regardless of your present circumstances.
Barry Buzza, a veteran pastor, is the president of the The Foursquare Gospel Church of Canada. www.foursquare.ca
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Barry Buzza, a veteran pastor, is the president elect of the The Foursquare Gospel Church of Canada. www.foursquare.ca
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August 16/2007
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