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by Diane Bollis
"Sexual distortion is that which deviates from God's creative intent. God intends sexuality to lead us into relationships of love, commitment, pleasure, companionship and procreation. If the fruit of the Spirit (see Galatians 5:22-23) were applied to lovemaking, life in the bedroom would become fertile ground for the development of Christian character, not to mention great sex."
We embark on a two part overview of sexuality. Written by Diane Bollis a Christian marriage and family therapist. Diane has recent moved to Vancouver from Toronto.
If we followed God's design for sexuality, life in the bedroom would become fertile ground for the development of Christian character, not to mention great sex.
Think of it: The divine imagination invented sex to differentiate all of humankind and all higher life forms into either male or female. Imagine God asking, "How can I, being Spirit, fashion flesh and blood into my image?" His response was male and female co-humanity. Adam saw that Eve was human like himself, and thus in seeing her, Adam saw himself more clearly. Yet her femaleness also emphasized their differences.
For many people sexuality remains undefined due to their reluctance to question or discuss sex É
Both men and women "participate" in the image of God but it is their "fellowship" as male and female, through marriage in particular, that reveals the meaning of the image, according to 18th century theologian Karl Barth. Genesis 1:26-27 presents God and humankind in relational, not individual, terms. And in Genesis 2:18 God confirms that it was not good for the man to be alone, and community was born.
Humans, then, are identified primarily by sex: they are either male or female, thus making sex intrinsic to human identity. So sex identifies humans, informs sexual identity and is the basis of sexuality.
Few of us attempt to define our sexuality until it becomes problematic. Then we scramble for understanding only to discover that we have no idea what a healthy sexuality looks like. For many people sexuality remains undefined due to their reluctance to question or discuss sex on a personal level.
This may sound inconsistent with our permissive culture, but in reality most people are still afraid to speak of their own sexual needs, desires or concerns even with spouses. They can engage in sex but cannot talk about it. Defining sexual terminology is a helpful beginning.
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The word "sexual" describes anything pertaining to sex, and sex refers to the physical characteristics, including hormones and genitalia among others, which determine gender. But "sexual" also describes any function involving attraction, fantasies, behaviour and reproduction.
So to say that my sexual identity is female would be accurate but incomplete. I would need to include my experience of living life as a female and my sexual proclivities. American author and theologian James Nelson defines sexuality as greater than sex but not as great as personhood. Sexuality may not determine our thoughts, feelings and behaviour, but it does permeate and affect them.
According to psychologist G. Peter Schreck, of Eastern Baptist Theological Seminary in St. Davids, Penn., sexuality has three components:
1. Male/female: our sex or physiological gender identity.
2. Masculine/feminine: our gender roles, codified early in life by culture, family and religion.
3. The potential for erotic arousal: that is, who or what arouses us sexually.
A sexual dynamic exists among all human beings. If I am talking with someone and notice that he or she is attractive I have unconsciously assessed the person erotically, and my potential for arousal is high. If I do not even notice the person's appearance I am indifferent and the potential for arousal on my part is low. Now imagine a room full of people fluctuating along this scale. Notice that the above definition does not deal with sexual expression or behaviour. Behaviour may express our sexual inclinations, desires and sexual identity, but it also reinforces them and is a significant part of our sexuality.
Schreck sees sexuality as "a sign in the flesh that I am not complete." Nelson adds that sexuality is a sign, a symbol and "a means of our call to communication and communion."
Part 1 of 2
Originally published in Faith Today.
www.faithtoday.ca
Used with permission of the author.
September 6/2007
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