Food & love . . .?

. . . they have more in common than you might think. pizza, potato chips, pop -- perfect party menu, right? wrong!

Research shows that although these foods are palate-pleasing, their contents can throw us into a dangerous cycle. Playing on our emotions and preying on our physical well-being, lip-smacking snacks can turn us into someone we don't want to be and seriously affect our personal relationships, which in turn affects our health.

"It works like this," says relationship expert Dr. Gary Smalley, author of The Amazing Connection Between Food and Love (Tyndale House). Our food choices affect our emotional health; our emotional health affects our relationships; our relationships affect our physical health; and our emotional and physical health affect our food choices."

Smalley, founder of the Smalley Relationship Center in Missouri and professional family counselor for more than 35 years, waged the war with excessive weight gain. He remembers the frustration of being unable to control his eating habits and the effect on relationships with family and friends. He also recalls the freedom he felt when he finally conquered the problem.

After sifting through reams of data from scientific studies, Smalley pinpointed four common food choices as the worst culprits in harming a person's physical and emotional well-being: White or refined sugar, white or refined flour, hydrogenated oils and animal fat, and chemically laden foods. The latter come disguised as sweet treats, pre-packaged goodies made from refined sugar or refined flour, deep-fried delectables, and store-bought foods with an unrecognizable ingredient list.

While those food choices might tingle the tastebuds, Smalley says they can affect brain chemicals, which in turn causes specific emotional changes. "When we're moody or grouchy or depressed or sleepy or whatever, our relationships and eventually our physical health are affected," he says.

How so? When we don't feel loveable, it's difficult to allow others to love us or express love to them. We tend to isolate ourselves, leaving relationships weak and ourselves feeling lonely. Unfortunately, when we find a gaping hole in our emotional or physical tank, we try to patch it with cheap fixes. Extra-marital affairs, alcohol, drugs, or even.....a doughnut and a cup of liquid caffeine. The cycle continues like a crazed merry-go-round.

Is there any hope of breaking that cycle? Absolutely. Help is just a prayer away. "When a person struggles in any area of their life, whether it be food or attitudes or any human behaviour at all, and finally realizes he can't change on his own, he simply has to (figuratively) wave his arms toward God and yell, 'Help!'" says Smalley. "God rescues those who cry out to Him." Smalley cites a personal experience to illustrate that point.

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"Several years ago I almost drowned in Mexico," he says. "I was being swept out to sea in an undertow. I fought and fought to swim back to shore, but the more I fought, the weaker I became. I went down about three times, bounced on the sand, and pushed myself above the water where I could wave my hands to anyone who could see me. I probably had only 60 seconds left.

"Suddenly a lifeguard saw me, threw out a float with a rope attached, and jerked me to shore. He saved my life. That's the way God works we admit our helplessness, cry out for help, and He rescues us."

Smalley also stresses that God created us as relational beings. He wants our deepest emotional needs to be met in a personal relationship with Him because that's the most relationship we'll ever have whether we're single or married. He wants us to enjoy healthy associations with those around us, too. Because He wants these good things for us, He's more than willing to help us make the necessary changes.

But what about the nitty-gritty of overhauling our grocery lists? By being informed, we can learn to select natural foods as opposed to convenient processed foods containing chemical additives. We can use honey or sweeteners from raw fruit rather than sugar. Replace refined flour with whole-grain flour and whole grains such as flax, brown rice, and oats. Substitute animal fat and hydrogenated oils with cold-pressed oils such as olive oil and soybean oil, avocados and peanut butter. Swap packaged foods for natural foods raw veggies and fruits, lean meats, beans, nuts, and seeds.

So, go ahead. Make a few changes in that menu, then party hearty. You'll enjoy improved physical health, weight loss, healthier interpersonal relationships, and stronger self-esteem and emotional well-being. It's well worth the effort.

Grace Fox is a national co-director for International Messengers Canada (http://www.im-canada.ca), a popular speaker at women's events worldwide, and the author of four books including Moving From Fear to Freedom: A Woman's Guide to Peace in Every Situation (Harvest House). She lives in Abbotsford. www.gracefox.com

Smalley credits Dr. Rex Russell, author of What the Bible Says about Healthy Living, for teaching him sound and scriptural eating habits. Here are three easy principles suggested by Russell that he found particularly helpful:

1. Eat the foods and drinks God created for food fresh veggies and fruit, lean meats, grains, etc. Replace sugary drinks with water at least eight cups a day. Forget refined foods and the stuff with a two-year shelf life.

2. Eat foods in their natural state. Fresh pineapple works better than pineapple upside-down cake. A banana's healthier than a chunk of banana bread.

3. Don't fall into a food addiction trap. Eat a well-balanced diet, not letting any one particular food or drink rule you.

December 21/2007