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By Dan Evans
I've helped run the Alpha course in various venues; homes, restaurants, and even a horse racing track. So when my friend, who was a chaplain in the prison system, asked me if I thought Alpha would work in that environment I said, Let's give it a try!
I like new adventures and I had witnessed many changed lives through the years in Alpha, so I was eager to start, but then something changed. A day or two before we were to start, the chaplain called me to go over some last minute details. Near the end of our conversation he dropped a bombshell. He said, By the way, these men are in protective custody. They are pedophiles.
I recoiled at those words. After hanging up the phone, I tried to think of any excuse I could to get out of going. God would understand. He knows the pain of my past. He knew about the man who had attempted to molest me when I was 11 years old. I had forgiven him. That's enough, isn't it?
I had shared Christ door-to-door, on street corners, in bars and at work But not here Lord. Not with these men, I prayed. I don't want to go. I can't stand the thought of even talking to them!
But what excuse could I use? It wouldn't sound very spiritual to say I hated them. I was stuck. I couldn't think of a way out. Alright, I'll go. But I don't have to like it.
Fourteen prisoners had signed up for the course. That first night, as a discussion leader, I broke every rule in the book. I sat with arms crossed and as far away from them as I could. I hardly spoke to them. It was a good thing my friend Tim was there to help lead. He saved the day and led the group well.
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Over the next week my mind wandered to thoughts about my First Nations brother-in-law who had lived through the abuses of the residential school system. And, just the week before, I had volunteered to search for a young girl who had gone missing in our community, and I was a part of a prayer vigil that she would be found. (Her body was later discovered in a lake near the prison. She had been kidnapped by a pedophile, abused and murdered.) I felt like I was carrying God's mercy in one hand and his judgment in the other.
As the weeks passed, the men began to open up and talk about themselves and the cycle of abuse that marked their lives. I will always remember one night in particular. Toward the end of one of the videos, the speaker, Nicky Gumbel quoted Joel 2:25 from the Bible, "God can restore to you the years that the locust has eaten." That statement impacted me, preparing me for what happened next.
I got up, walked over and shut off the TV, and sat down. There was an awkward silence. Then one of the inmates looked at me and said, Is that true? Do you really believe there is hope for us?
I knew the answer I had to give and as I began to speak, something happened inside of me. My hard heart began to soften. As I spoke to the men, I was talking to myself. I said, Although you will suffer the consequences of what you have done, there is hope for anyone who truly repents and turns to Jesus for forgiveness.
It was as though I was saying it to the man who had tried to abuse me years earlier. A heavy weight lifted off me that night and I learned a little more about the grace and forgiveness of God.
This testimony was contributed to canadianchristianity.com by our friends at Alpha Canada. www.alphacanada.org
January 17/2008
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