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Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing
spirit, to sustain me.
Psalm 51:12
 'Acadie,' or spiritual languor, is an experience that is especially common for people at the beginning stages of trying to establish a discipline of prayer in their lives. They have a desire to pray but are not able to be consistent in focusing their will in order to persevere in this desire.
To feel discouragement at this stage is understandable. But people with a disciplined prayer life can also experience an erosion of their will-to-pray. For them, the reasons for spiritual languor are often mysterious, and perhaps more related to God's direct activity within their souls than to their own lack of initiative.
Matthew the Poor, a Coptic contemplative, says that one of the reasons God allows us to experience spiritual languor might be in order to curtail an over-ambitious soul. This can apply to us at any stage of our pilgrimage,whenever we are tempted to turn our spiritual hopes into spiritual goals. He suggests that such a soul might be attempting to go beyond its ability to endure, beyond that which its foundations can stand. We can sometimes ask for, or expect, spiritual experiences and knowledge beyond our present needs or capacity. When such presumptions fail us we feel discouraged. We find our spiritual reserves exhausted from having over extended ourselves. Spiritual languor, in this context, can actually be seen as a gift of mercy as God protects us from the spiritual pride that would result if we were to claim spiritual heights that we are not yet ready for.
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Weakness of the will then serves to bring the soul back to the lowly steps of a beginner. It should be welcomed as a merciful corrective that empties the soul of self-willed ambition. It also re-establishes the right order of relationship between our spiritual disciplines and our experience of God. One of the particular dangers of a disciplined spiritual life is to presume that diligence and faithfulness to our spiritual practices are directly linked to our relationship with God, as though they somehow qualify us for the love and grace of God. If that is the case, rather than allow us to persist in such an illusion, God is obliged to deprive the soul of its own energy and will in order to challenge our faulty premises. The discipline we apply to the pursuit of God is not the price we pay for His love and acceptance, but only a response to these.
Whenever God with draws the grace of zeal from us and the soul loses the power and energy to be disciplined in its spiritual work, the spiritual poverty that results can serve to correct a misunderstanding of the relationship that binds the soul to God. How can we know if these correctives apply to our present state of soul? Perhaps the very questions we ask ourselves when we feel tepid in meditations for spiritual direction our spirits are what most reveal the presumptions of relationship that we are dealing with. Has God forsaken me? Is it because of my sin? Have I provoked God to anger by my sloth and laziness? Is my prayer no longer acceptable to Him? Each of these questions reveals a faulty premise with regards to who is in response to Whom. It is easy to believe that, if we no longer have a will for God, God no longer has a will towards us. This is what happens when we are tempted by acadie.
Rob Des Cotes is a spiritual director and pastor of Fairview Baptist Church in Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada. He teaches Contemplative Traditions at Trinity Western University, as well as courses on spirituality and the arts at Carey Theological College and Columbia Bible College. Rob also directs Imago Dei (www.imagodeicommunity.ca) a network of faith communities that encourages the practice of prayer and a transforming relationship with God. Rob is a regular contributor to canadianchristianity.com. To obtain 'Higher than I' go to: www.clementspublishing.com
April 18/2008
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