LEARNING TO LOVE - Look in the Mirror

We are pleased to offer a new eight part series 'Learning to love' by Mike Mason. They are edited excerpts from his book 'Practicing the Presence of People (Waterbrook Press, 1999) Mike, a regular contributor to canadianchristianity.com, is perhaps most well known for his book 'The Mystery of Marriage.' that won the ECPA Gold Medallion award.

[other pieces by Mike Mason]

Think of other people as a mirror. Do you realize that what you see in them is only what is in yourself? What is reflected back to you from the mirror of humanity? Is your mirror cloudy or clear? To the extent that you love yourself, you will love everyone else. How happy you are is directly related to how many people you can embrace with love. The more the merrier!

The mirror of flesh and blood is the test of true love for God. Are we resentful of God for remaining invisible? If only He would show Himself, we think, then we'd know where we're at. Like Job we complain, "He is not a man like me that I may answer Him" (9:32). Meanwhile the world is full of people, fully visible, radically alive, all clamoring for attention----as if God Himself were standing on a soap box and yelling out to the heedless crowds passing Him by, "I'm over here! Can't you see Me?" Isn't our blindness to the actual presence of God in this world so preposterous as to be comical?

If God seems distant or absent, it may be because you're holding back from intimacy with people. You have good reasons: disillusionment, distrust, childhood wounds, a long history of real hurts and failures. Still, if you want to travel out of your loneliness into the country of love, there is only one way, and that is through real contact with others.

"If you are offering your gift at the altar," taught Jesus, "and there remember that your brother has something against you, first go and be reconciled to your brother; then come and offer your gift" (Matthew 5:23-24).

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How fitting it is that the process of coming to God involves humbling ourselves before fellow humans. There is no other path to God except through people ---- first of all through the man Jesus Christ, and then through others. We must make our peace not just with Jesus but with everyone.

Religious types are always asking, "What is God saying?" But what are people saying? Once I confronted a well-known Christian leader with the fact of his alcoholism. He wouldn't listen. He said that before he'd believe me, he'd have to hear it from God. Meanwhile his wife was telling him to quit drinking; his children were telling him; other friends were telling him; and I was telling him. But no: he was waiting to hear it from God.

Relationships ---- even bad ones ---- speak loudly and clearly. Listen to them. They will tell you the truth about yourself, where on your own you will certainly miss it. What are the people in your life saying? What is your neighbor saying? What are you yourself saying? Do you know? When you find out, you may discover that what God is saying is virtually the same.

"You want to hear My voice," says the Lord, "but you do not listen to the voices of My people.
"You want to see My face, but you will not look into the eyes of My people.
"You say you want to know Me, but you do not want to know My people.
"You want to be healed, and you want lay your hands on others to bestow healing in My name, and yet you will not enfold your brother in a sincere embrace."

John summed this all up when he wrote, "Whoever loves God must also love his brother ... For anyone who does not love his brother, whom he has seen, cannot love God, whom he has not seen" (1 John 4:20-21).

May 1/2008