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By Colleen Hammermaster
Off for the journey home bombarded with thoughts of parental responsibilities: don't forget to buy milk, pick up the little ones from day care, try to find creative ways to make the kids eat broccoli, call the refrigerator repairman, and try to generate enough energy and enthusiasm to listen to the highlights of a child's or spouse's day. Pray that no one shows signs of getting a cold, because the schedule doesn't allow for illness.
STUFF to do ++
Then a leisurely evening at home? Hardly. Instead it's baths, homework, and a quick load of laundry because someone is out of clean underwear. Or maybe it's music lessons or hockey practice for the kids, or a continuing education course in computers or business administration for parents to upgrade and improve career prospects. Don't forget the community meeting, changing the oil in the car, the birthdays and anniversaries (particularly your own). And what about a quick visit with your own neglected parent(s)? Then it's home in time to briefly chat with your spouse before flopping into bed.
The weekends are used to catch up with what wasn't accomplished during the hectic week: dusting and vacuuming, four loads of laundry, grocery shopping, yard work, fixing the broken toaster, taking the kids for haircuts and/or new shoes, going to church, Sunday school, and Adult Bible class. You drag yourself to bed Sunday night so you are well rested to get up early Monday morning to do the whole thing again!
It only gets tougher if there's only one aren't, a shortage of money, or other complications. Circumstances vary, but most families do pretty much the same things, and struggle with the same pressures. Too frequently, the demands and responsibilities of today's families leave little left in terms of time and human energy. As a result, one of the greatest challenges of families today is overcoming the time crunch.
In a recent study by Statistics Canada, one third of Canadians felt they had insufficient time to meet the demands placed on them and as a result experienced stress. Women generally felt the pressure of the time crunch ore than men.
Many families feel trapped in a rut.
They don't have tine for fun,
and can't remember the last time that they did.
Unfortunately, there is no easy formula for how in our super-person society, you're supposed to meet all of the demands within the limits of time. However, the solution begins by recognizing that you do have limited energy and time. As the demands on time increase, many people feel that they must meet these demands without recognizing that as human beings we cannot do it all.
God's expectation
Our Heavenly Father doesn't expect us to do it all. If we had the power or the directive to do it all we wouldn't need him and the sacrifice of his Son. We are called to serve, and we are each equipped to serve in special and unique ways. We need to acknowledge the unique gifts that he gives us (rather than waste them by ignoring them) and cherish these gifts by looking after them and not running ourselves ragged which deteriorates any type of service we can provide with those gifts. There is no question that none of us can do it all, but each of us has a very specific contribution to make, and when we ignore our specific purpose we wander through life without direction and unable to focus on priorities in how we choose to serve.
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To help us prioritize where we will put our energy, we need to start with why we were placed on this earth, and how we were each uniquely designed to serve. That is where God wants us to put our time and energy, and we can experience the full power of the Holy Spirit as we seek opportunities to serve according to our spiritual gifts. That should be our focus and our purpose, as we seek his Truth, wisdom, and direction. What a wonderful testimony of His Love to live according to His purpose, equipped with the tools of ministry each of us have been given.
Prioritizing? - not easy!
Setting priorities as Christians is not easy when we lost sight of our purpose. If our motto becomes do it all and do it now, we end up feeling inadequate when we fail to meet our unrealistic demands. That is why we need Christ as the focus of our lives. With Christ as our guide, we need not worry about the multitude of worries, stresses, and demands in our secular world. We are told in Matthew 6:33 "seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well."
In giving us our life, God also gave us the power to choose how we will live it.
We can begin to make better choices in our lives by asking the following questions:
• What are the priorities in my life?
• Is my relationship with God a priority in my life?
• Who has God made me to be and how might I best serve Him with the gifts that I have been given?
• What changes could I make to refocus my life on God's purpose for me, defined by my unique gifts as vehicles of my ministry?
This article is contributed by Colleen Hammermaster, a Christian counseling psychologist. She has worked at Concordia University College of Alberta in Edmonton for 11 years, counseling students and staff, and teaching University courses in Educational Psychology. She has also worked in the hospital setting as well as in the Psychiatric Hospital setting. For the past 8 years she has been providing counseling services in her own private practice. She has counseled hundreds of individuals struggling with a wide variety of emotional issues and problems, and has led many workshops and presentations for both private and public agencies. Dr. Hammermaster has a doctoral degree in Educational Psychology from the University of Alberta, and has written many articles of relevance to Christians on topics such as: how to stop worrying, avoiding the time crunch, preventing burnout, self-esteem in relationships, and coping with depression.
(*not actual people)
November 6/2008
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