By Ruth

I love the church. I couldn't possibly get by without the love and fellowship of my dear friends in my local congregation. There are however, some churches that would reveal some major flaws under close scrutiny. I am talking about their attitude towards fellow Christians who are struggling with mental illness and/or alcoholism.

For many years I suffered from bipolar disorder and alcoholism. Throughout those years I worshipped in many churches including at least three different denominations and faced the same basic reactions ranging from indifference to hostility. I was told: "Just snap out of it," "Get over it," "There must be some sin in your life," "Neal down and pray about it and it will go away," and "No Christian should ever have to use medication for problems of the mind."

Personally, I do not believe the church is deliberately and consciously rejecting these hurting people. I think they are avoiding the whole problem because of fear and a lack of education. The average person in the church cannot relate to these problems and they are beyond the scope of most pastors' training.

I grew up in a Mennonite home where alcohol was never seen. I was introduced to it in my early twenties and became immediately hooked. It silenced the screaming in my head. My life was controlled by anger and I always felt like I was screaming inside. I was a victim of sexual abuse over a period of several years but I was unaware of its devastating consequences.

I got married and continued to drink in secret. When our 3 children were young I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. It is a mental illness that is characterized by alternating depression and manic highs. The name does not reflect the pain and devastation it inflicts on both the individual and the family. It is believed that 1 - 2 percent of the population suffer from bipolar disorder.

Up to 60 percent of bipolar sufferers also have an addiction to alcohol. I compare alcoholism to a steaming jungle which is a place of tall trees whose leaves form a dense canopy above, tangled vines and thick underbrush where the light cannot penetrate. It is a dark place to be. Alcohol has been called a family disease for the damage it has inflicted on many families. Put the two together and you have a formula for destruction.

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As my kids were growing up I was an angry and abusive mother. I was so occupied with my own pain that I was not emotionally available to my kids. Ultimately our 14 year old daughter was taken out of our home and placed in foster care.

When the kids were still quite young I entered an addiction rehabilitation centre. I lost a close friendship because "a Christian should never go outside the church for help." However I was determined to find help. I credit the centre and A.A. for playing a major role in my recovery.

Over the years I spent a dozen times in psychiatric wards and in counselling. My psychiatrist was a Godly man who not only addressed my mental problems but the spiritual as well. My husband of 34 years demonstrated unconditional love that sustained me through the good and the bad. The relationship with my kids is blossoming.

The Lord has been good to me. I still take medication but he has granted me a high degree of healing and I have not taken a drink in 24 years.

I have written a book, Healing for an Unquiet Mind, about my journey through the dark times and my subsequent recovery and healing. I also offer some suggestions for our churches, about how they can develop a ministry of compassion to people suffering with mental illness and alcoholism. I have a ministry to ladies struggling with depression and do some speaking. I have prepared material for seminars on the topic to help educate those churches that are interested to learn.

I am presently working towards my Masters Degree in Counselling from Briercrest Seminary. I want to be the person in the local church who reaches out to hurting people. I wonder if I would have received help sooner if a pastor had said to me, "I am not able to help you but I can direct you to someone who can."

I am happy to say that there are individual churches who are reaching out and who do have vibrant ministries. Many individuals are listening and offering their love and support. My prayer is that this will grow and we will become a church that loves, accepts and ministers more effectively to the hurting Christians among us.

Ruth is married with 3 adult children and 6 grandchildren. She is a writer and speaker. She wrote a book, 'Healing for an Unquiet Mind', about her journey and recovery from mental illness and alcoholism. She lives with her husband in Warman, SK.

March 5/2009