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By Paul Robertson
 We live in a time and culture when the importance of fatherhood is very much maligned. The media has gone out of its way to portray fathers as unreliable, silly, and spineless. Can you name even one television program where a father is portrayed as he should be? Not since the Cosby Show has fatherhood been presented as the noble calling it really is.
Part II [READ PART I]
Participator
In the distraction of our daily schedules, we have forgotten the importance of simply being there for our kids. Some children learn that dad will only show up in crisis situations when mom can no longer handle things. Participating fathers are there to help their children with the everyday issues which in turn lead to more meaningful relationships. It is a great way to teach basic life skills such as making good choices, choosing good friends, and learning to discern the important issues of life. The culture and all its temptations make a father's involvement crucial. Dads lead the way by being an example of what he wants his children to become. We all know that "more is caught than taught" and it were never truer than in issues of parenting.
Playmate
Fathers tend to engage in more physi- cal play than mothers who tend to be nurturers. Roughhousing has a number of benefits - builds muscles and coordination, a place to teach rules and self-control, taking turns, and learning how to play physically without hurting others. It is also a wonderful time for meaningful conversations and building deep emotional bonds. Dads often underestimate the benefits of simply playing with their kids. As children turn into adolescents, the physical fun side of life can be carried on into organized sports and recreational activities which offer even more avenues to continue to grow together.
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Principled Guide
Given today's youth culture is permeated with an indifference to morality, perhaps the greatest role a father now plays is that of principled guide. It takes a great father to guide his children through their media minefield. Kids are looking for direction and guidance and it needs to come from the home. Fathers help young people to see the dangers ahead and how to set boundaries for healthy living. Proper discipline teaches socially desirable behaviour and builds character. It enables children to under- stand the consequences and reality of their own decisions and actions; some- thing that is often missing in the media they watch. It is important for fathers to catch their children doing something good. We have a natural tendency to only notice our kids when they do something wrong. Guiding fathers recognize and reward the goodness in their children. True discipline is as much about reward as it is correction. Building rea- sonable, consistent boundaries in a youth world of "anything goes" will pay great dividends in the future for loving parents.
Paul Robertson is the Youth Culture Specialist with Youth Unlimited (Toronto YFC). Youth Unlimited is a faith-based charity that believes in the unlimited potential of youth. It is committed to helping them develop wholistically, both personally and spiritually, by providing caring people to whom they can turn. http://paulrobertson.ca
August 20/2009
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