As the bass player with Korn, Reginald Arvizu, Jr. — better known as Fieldy to his legions of fans — lived the life. With sales topping 30 million, the proverbial sex, drugs and rock ‘n’ roll were all in abundance.
As the band heads out on tour this month, he’s as ready as ever to rock. Offstage, however, he’s focused on entirely different pursuits than in the past.
Like reading his Bible, or writing a book of daily devotions.
In the just released Got the Life: My Journey Of Addiction, Faith, Recovery, and Korn (William Morrow), Arvizu tells how he got from here to there. At times, it’s not a pretty story. Despite massive success, he would fight with his band mates, treat fans horribly, and repeatedly cheat through three successive marriages.
The book shares much with the standard rocker biographies – tales of sordid exploits in and out of Korn are plentiful – but it’s much more.
Arvizu taps into universal truths, and at its heart the book is about the human condition, and one man’s struggle to find love.
Maintaining that all personal darkness comes from having a broken heart, Arvizu says that for him, the first occurred during his teens, when his parents divorced. His father — a musician — was an alcoholic and often violent towards Fieldy’s mother.
Their dysfunctional relationship provided a blueprint he would follow for years to come. Drugs, alcohol, food and sex became crutches to fill the void.
“It’s crazy,” he acknowledges, “because you end up following your parents. People do. I didn’t really want to, it’s just – you end up doing it. Whether it’s the man following the dad, or the woman following the mom; the majority of people end up following their parents. Why do we do that? I don’t know – it’s kind of a mystery. I guess because we love them.”
Anger defined many of his relationships while growing up. More often than not, it was directed towards women, with little self-awareness as to why.
“Looking at it today, it was probably because I put up my wall. I didn’t want to be hurt, and I knew that that’s what it took; if I didn’t let any women in, I wouldn’t have to worry about getting hurt. Because the only thing that could hurt me, was a woman.”
Eventually, no one could get through. After the divorce, Reginald Arvizu, Sr. underwent a radical transformation, embracing Christianity and remarrying. Despite attempts to mend relations with his son, Fieldy remained skeptical.
Photo: Sébastien Paquet
Discussing his feelings was not an option. “I didn’t know how to voice it. I didn’t want to sit and talk about things like that. That’s probably a lot of the reason why I stayed high all the time.”
He believes that’s typical of his generation. “I see that. People want to run – they don’t want to sit down and talk deep life. There’s very few people that can just talk about things.
“Even for myself today – I still find it hard if somebody tells me something I don’t want to hear, but I know it will make things better. I still feel myself get a little defensive, and I have to step back, and be like; ‘You know what, man? You’re right. That would be better.’ It’s just human nature.”
“Actually,” he reconsiders, “I don’t think it’s even human nature. It’s that roaring lion, looking for someone to devour. The enemy; the devil. He’s loose. If it wasn’t for him, we’d probably all be real, loving people. But he’s here. ”
His father’s death was the catalyst for change. Four years ago, his dad was diagnosed with an aggressive form of cancer. Initially, Fieldy was in denial about the illness, believing he could remedy the situation via his own exalted position as a millionaire rock star.
He continued to party until the day of the funeral. That night, for the first time ever, he and his wife prayed with his stepmother.
At the time, he didn’t understand the ramifications, but a fundamental change had occurred. The following day — after 20 years of non-stop partying — he flushed his drugs down the toilet. That was it. Not rehab, no self-help groups.
For many, it takes a crisis to bring about substantial personal change. Arvizu agrees, but with a caveat; “I think that when a crisis comes in someone’s life, you do have a choice to make that turnaround. But when someone makes a turnaround without Christ, it doesn’t work.
Photo: Sébastien Paquet
In spite of his prolonged substance abuse, he’s adamant that neither rehab nor Alcoholics Anonymous could have helped him.
“It wouldn’t work, because I just can’t trust that whoever – the founder of rehab or whoever put this book out – they put a book out and said, ‘This is the way.’ Why is that person better than me? I could put a book out saying you can become sober. But when you become sober, are you going to have that peace? Is your heart going to be filled? If you look at the A.A. book, it’s thicker than a Bible! The Bible’s free, and some rehabs cost $30,000.”
Twelve Step-based programs such as Alcoholics Anonymous employ a language of inclusiveness, subscribing to the God of your understanding, or one’s ‘Higher Power.’
“I don’t really agree with that. The Bible says that nobody comes to God but through his son Jesus Christ. If there are some A.A.’s that are going through Christ, I’m fine with it. The ones I know, they only use ‘God.’ But because the Bible says that nobody comes to God but by Jesus Christ – if they’re not doing it that way, then I can’t agree with any of them.
He confesses to not understanding ex-addicts who struggle to stay clean.
Photo: Sébastien Paquet
“I’ve never met someone that’s gone to rehab that has a sense of peace. Most of those people, I’ll hang out with them, and they’re so jittery – either smoking cigarettes or pounding coffees – that I want to go ‘Hey bro – can you hand me a beer? You make me want to drink.’ Because they’re so not at ease.”
We spoke on a couple of occasions for this feature, and returned each time to this subject – which is clearly close to his heart.
“It’s funny, because right before [the second interview], I prayed to have the right answer; ‘What do I say about this?’ I didn’t really know exactly what the question was, but I prayed, and I read my Bible.
“Where I’m at in right now is 2nd Corinthians, and I got into the first chapter, verse 3 – and it says: ‘All praise to God, the Father of our Lord Jesus God is our merciful father, and the source of all comfort.’ And I was like, ‘Wow; that’s pretty heavy.’ I mean, I think that’s why so many people go to rehab and A.A., and then they fall short; it’s because they don’t do it through Christ.”
According to some reports, the pioneer A.A. fellowships required each member to accept Jesus Christ as his personal lord and savior. That’s open to dispute, but there is no question that Christ is clearly missing from all of the group’s literature today.
“And that’s obviously the enemy,” Fieldy maintains, “because why is he rejected? That’s crazy. I don’t really understand that; but that’s what it is – that’s the world, you know.”
Korn has been credited with singlehandedly creating the nu metal genre – but it’s a label they tend to reject. According to vocalist Jonathan Davis, the designation “a band that rocks” is best.
Since arriving on the scene in 1994, they’ve had nine consecutive albums debut in the top 10 – two going all the way to #1. Tracks like ‘Freak On A Leash,’ and ‘A.D.I.D.A.S.’ [an acronym for ‘All Day Long I Dream About Sex'] cemented their reputation for mixing cutting edge with commercial smarts.
In spite of a decidedly cynical image – Davis, in particular, has been a frequent and vocal critic of religious groups – the band has been accepting of the change in Arvizu. “It’s cool. They are supportive. And I don’t know why. Obviously, that’s through the Lord, because I don’t know why.”
Arvizu and Jon Davis
According to Davis, the band’s next album will focus on the hypocrisy of organized religion. “He’s always felt that way. Even on the last album that we put out, he wrote a little something. It’s kind of hard for me to fully understand, but I know that he really hates organized religion. He’s so hateful towards organized religion, that I’m not even really sure that he’s hateful towards Jesus himself. I don’t think he’s actually rejecting Christ; he’s rejecting people — the world — maybe some things that happened in his past.”
Arvizu is at a loss as to the exact cause of the hostility. “I don’t know, because he won’t really open up. I’m kind of waiting for him to open up, and see what’s going on. I’ve got to sit and dig with him one day deep, and see where he’s at, you know?”
He’s aware that might take awhile. For the time being, his approach is simple; “Loving him right where he’s at. And it’s crazy, because we’re closer than ever.”
Fieldy with Jon Davis. Photo: Sébastien Paquet
He maintains he’s not religious, anyway; he simply follows Christ. That’s a concept some might find hard to grasp. So, he admits, would he, up until a few years ago.
“The old me, I wouldn’t even know what Christ was, let alone religion. I didn’t know at all. So either way, it wouldn’t matter. But today I understand the difference. You hear the phrase a ‘baby Christian;’ I guess I can consider myself still a baby Christian – because it’s been not quite four years. But in the four years, I’ve read my Bible every day.”
Arvizu is not the first member of the band to find faith. Guitarist Brian ‘Head’ Welch made headlines in 2005, when he announced he had become a Christian and was leaving Korn. Two years later, he documented his story in Save Me From Myself.
Photo: Sébastien Paquet
“I tracked him down,” he recalled, “and I talked to him, and he said ‘I just want my son to be saved’ if he doesn’t get saved by the time I die, I’m gonna go right up to Jesus when I get to Heaven and say ‘Why isn’t my son saved?’”
A month later, he passed away.
Fieldy was unaware of his dad’s comments to Welch, but verifies the circumstances and sequence of events leading up to his conversion. At times, he admits, this story – two members coming to faith, conversion within hours of his father’s death – encompasses far more than meets the eye. “I know,” Arvizu marvels, “people are wondering; what’s really going on here?”
He’d love to see the rest of the band follow suit, but imposing his beliefs is not on the agenda. “There’s no way that I can force them to love the Lord or change their life. I can’t change that, I can only pray for that one day. Whatever God’s will is.”
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wow…. another way to make money. in my eyes, scientology and christianity are on the same level. i dont bash them for what they believe in, but rather or their insidious hatred for others unlike them and the institution of using other’s faith or weakness of heart to further themselves. congratulations Fieldy…. you’re fucking retarded.
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Super proud of the groundbreaking group from Bakersfield, CA! We all get REALLY screwed up along the way of this mortal coil. God has a way of using the most messed up of all of us in a good way when we turn our lives over to him. There is new life in the Lord. Take a look at the transformations of ex porn stars at thepinkcross.org. I agree with Jonathan – RELIGIOUS is judgement rules based BS. The LORD is love and is real.
It was interesting to read the article and the responses. Well, I think that God will show Fieldy in his time that he needs to dare to take his faith a step further in his relationship with God by leaving Korn. Because whatever said and done their music goes against values of Christianity. Fieldy should go solo. Once you receive Jesus into your heart as your personal Lord and savior you become someone who is in the world but not of the world. I used to listen to KORN as a young girl and Head was (and still is) one of my fav guitarists and Fieldy used to be my fav bassist so I used to pray for them, as insane as that sounds and God did answer my prayers so, if God brought Fieldy this far, he will sure make him wake up and see that he isn’t honoring God when he claims to be Christian but goes on playing worldly music which doesn’t honor him at all! Yeah I agree with the comment above, change doesn’t come overnight, there is more to it than that and as for Jon, Munky, and Dave someday I pray that they will find themselves in Christ too.
As a KoRn “kid” (a true KoRn fan will know) I find the transformation Fieldy and Head have gone threw for the better. I was very disappointed to hear that Head had left KoRn. But I was kind of shocked when I first heard about Fieldy. I didn’t realize what he was going threw as they do have private lives outside the camera.
But I found this site and article and read more about it. I haven’t yet made it to the bookstore (yes I know what one is) to get their book’s but I will, and look forward to reading them.
As a KoRn fan for many year’s and growing up with them, I’ve seen how they have changed over the year’s. They have been a very influential band for me. Providing me an “outlet” so to say with there music. A show they did at the Mark in Moline, Ia. was my first major concert. It was amazing.
But anyway’s I read the article and thought this was really well done and it “makes sense” to me. Mind you I had legal problem’s that tried to force rehab on to me. Yeah I “walked the walk” to get threw the program’s I had to just and only to satisfy the court’s. Since then I’ve gotten married and it was until I had my son, that I felt the peace he’s taking about. I flushed (everything that would fit down the toilet) and threw away the other, and am not jittery or nothing. It was holding that child, my own son, that I realized, hey I don’t need this stuff anymore.
But I reach down here to the comment’s and was kind of awe-struck. What’s up??? If you’re following what the bible say’s, then how are you to judge someone else? That’s god’s job. You can’t sit behind your computer and tell him he’s in the wrong for staying in KoRn. He’s got a lot of influence there. As a long time fan of their music, I’ve seen that music change as they “grew up” and have no doubt this will impact what they now write. He’s got an outlet to reach out to others. As long as he is comfortable with it, then that’s cool.
To me their music has always “showed” me what kind of sick and twisted people are out there and the problem’s we have in society. One song “daddy” comes to mind. It also has provided me a great deal of relief knowning, I’m not the only one feeling this way. Again I’m refering to more of the earlier released music.
But to me KoRn has alway’s shown they care. From heading up to a school in Michigan to help out a student that got expelled cause someone didn’t like his KoRn shirt, to making a kid’s dream come true, and making jimmy.
Yes, some of their music is about sex. In this day and age I think we can talk about sex without some “taboo” kind of thinking.
They are going to be playing this weekend in Des Moines, Ia, but I can’t go. I’ve seen them live 7 time’s, and everytime, I have a complete feeling of relaxation when I left the concert. Yes maybe it’s an outlet for me. Heck I named my son after one of the band member’s.
This post has been all over the place, but I guess the main point I wanted to say was if your Christian or whatever you practice, don’t be so judgmental towards these people, or anyone for that matter. You may not personal care for them, their action’s, or whatever, but they do reach a large crowd of us and they do spark some interest to me to dust off the bible and open it up to look and see what he’s referring too. Also change doesn’t just happen over night. Maybe there’s more to come…
There’s lot’s more I’d like to say but I don’t want this to be 2 pages long.
Peace out.
Both Fieldy and writer John Cody have presented Fieldy’s story of salvation in an honest, straightforward manner. The Lord knows what He’s doing in saving Fieldy, regardless of Korn’s lyrical viewpoint to date. There’s a light shining now, and as Fieldy is honest in his testimony, his continued growth, and faith in God’s word, who are we to doubt what Christ will do in him and those around him? This is genuine salvation. Keep walking the talk, Fieldy; the prayer cover goes with you.
Thank you for this article Mr. Cody. I’m grateful for your informed and comprehensive writings on people in the arts community who have personal faith and yet don’t necessarily fit into the “acceptable” ‘church parameters’ of lukewarm North American religiosity.
It’s clear that another normal person has been reached out to by God and has met Jesus. In response to an earlier comment, I wonder if a prostitute came to know Christ, and John wrote about the testimoy…how much outcry would there be questioning why such a sordid subject matter would be appearing in a ‘tidy’ Christian publication?
I can quite easily recall what my reaction to the cover of Fieldy’s book would be from me should I have seen it in my earlier, ignorant ‘pious’ years as a legalist Christian(with the best intentions of course… we all know where that leads). I would have balked at the image of Fieldy on the cross wondering ” Why is he trying to be Jesus? Why is there a sacreligious image on the cover of this book while it is trying to make people aware of the Gospel?” Now when I see it, I see the reality of the cross, and that Fieldy understands that having himself tacked up to that cross would be exactly what he deserves… right in line after they pulled MY body down.
Thank God that Jesus already stood in our place to pay that debt.
I would like to gently, but firmly, admonish the religious legalists to remove their heads from their rear ends, so that they might take a look outside of themselves to see where Jesus is actually at work in our world. There is a reason people aren’t flocking to the church, but are to Korn concerts. Right or wrong, answers or no answers, Korn, and so many other artists actually will acknowledge and validate in their fans that life IS a mess, and life DOES hurt sometimes. While it’s not our goal to stay in the mire… we do need to admit that we are in it, and need Jesus to help us out-not look down at the others in the pigpen.
People who are put out about covering ‘unsanitized’ content in a Christian newspaper remind me of a quote I heard from a preacher once.
He basically said:
Thank you Canadian Christianity for allowing Mr. Cody to write outside the safe parameters of a potpourri-scented, suburban Christian bookstore approved box, and bring it to street level where the rest of the world lives… Christian or not.
Jesus said that we will be judged with the same trial that we judge the persons. The Fieldy found God and Jesus, what Korn sings, It doesn’t matter! The apostle John says that the world is the power of the devil. What matters is the person having the heart and clean with God and Jesus, and love the persons.
If i was a prostitute and then i claimed to find christ, and then i continued to prostitute to “reach people”, i would continue in my sins and there would be no glory to God.
Im glad he found “God” but we are instructed to then turn away from hypocrisy and sin. Him remaining in a band that sings about “f$#%ing women, and killing people” in the setlists is hardly christian nor the place to have a christian man dancing around with an open “hail Satan” mentality frontman.
Korn never really was, and still really isn’t, a band speaking on religious beliefs or values. Their whole appeal has always been the ability to translate anger, aggression, pain, sorrow and fear into music and lyrics that not only help themselves cope with their problems, but gave millions a release and something to relate to. Brian Welch is an amazingly talented musician and I hope he returns to the fold one day, the same goes for David (whatever his troubles may be). In the scope of things, the individual members’ beliefs don’t mean anything to myself as a fan. People tend to forget they don’t know these guys on a personal level and their choices are no one’s business but their own. They choose to share but in the end we’re all just waiting for another amazing album.
I want to make this clear as a fan of korn. Jonathan Davis has said before he has nothing against beliving in christ and being religious,he himself says he belives in a higher power..its the institutions itself that he dislikes… The covering up by some clergy of sexual abuse in the catholic church, the scandles involving the greed of some televangelists,the hatred showed by some radical christians towards certain groups of people,The tendency of some muslim towards violence against their own teaching of the koran because of the political aspertations and deceptions of some of their leaders. Also Alot of christans today are becoming the very thing christ fought agaisnt..greedy,bigoted and selfish people. I really dought Christ would have gone to a soldires funural with a sign that says “GOD HATES FAGS” FAGS BURN IN HELL..thats VILE christ’s teachings stand for love not hate. and i think davis sees that. Thats a valid point. Davis isnt some debotched vile man..by all accounts he’s a very warm hearted and loving person and i can understand where his anger might come from.
spencer you dont know anything about koRn they are hate god and love statan
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